Chances Lost
by Daienara
Summary: Faith is trying to reform but maybe prison alone isn't pennance enough for the powers that be.One Shot.


Time ticked by painfully slow; to be honest she couldn't believe she was even still there. Faith was wild, an animal, and she knew it. She also knew she was fooling herself, and Angel, with this whole redemption thing. She belonged on the outside where things were wild and exciting. Instead she was locked up like a rabid dog and the worst part was she was doing it willingly.

For months the only sense of relief she got came from her hour a day in the yard. She craved the brief kiss of the sun on her face and the chance to breathe the not so fresh air that California offered. She always took a moment to close her eyes so she could pretend she was somewhere else, anywhere else. Of course when she opened them again she was right back in that walled in yard, but it was a temporary, if limited, freedom.

That small mercy is gone though because some big bitch just got herself thrown in decided she was going to make her place by starting a fight on the yard. All it got her was a broken arm for her efforts and Faith tasered and thrown in solitary for a month.

Now a week later and the walls of the eight by ten cell were closing in around her more with each day that went by. She was also pretty sure dinner gave her food poisoning. She sat for a while trying to ignore the cramping in her abdomen but after a while she got up and started pacing the small cell. That was one of the less awesome things about being a slayer, when something cramped it cramped hard.

She figured it was time to get some medical attention an hour and a half later when a cramp grabbed her, bringing her down to her knees on the cold concrete floor. Breathing hard through her nose, Faith waited for the pain to ease then hauled herself up, using the frame of the bed to help her. Reaching the solid door, she pounded her fists on the metal and hollered but when she listened there was no sound of foot fall to signal anyone answering her calls. 'Bastards,' she thought bitterly 'they'd probably let me die as long as they didn't have to get off their asses.' Another cramp ripped through the slayer's body which made her groan low in her throat.

She had to sit but not on the bed, so she stripped the thin blanket from the mattress and spread it in the corner before she lowered herself down to sit on it. The floor was hard and the cement blocks that made up the walls were cold against her back, but it was better than a sagging mattress that screeched every time she moved.

She was starting to feel sick to her stomach and sweat was starting to make her orange jumpsuit cling to her. This wasn't like some stomach bug; she was starting to think maybe her appendix had burst. 'Wouldn't that be poetic?' She thought between pains 'I spent so long spreading my poison to others... Now my body is spreading poison through itself.'

Karma. That's what they'd call it, and Faith knew it was fully deserved. She was worthless, nothing more than a dirty murderous bitch and now she was going to die on the floor like a dog but she was okay with that. No one would miss her, hell the only person who ever thought that maybe she might be worth saving was Angel.

"Angel..." she groaned, her fists balling up in the rough wool blanket. Even after everything she did to him, how many times she tried to kill him and the people he cared about, he never gave up on her. He was the reason she was doing this, letting them cage her, it was for him. She tried to focus on the one good memory she had to forget the pain, one that wasn't bloody or dark.

It was less than a year ago but it now felt so far away. She was in a dark hole of an apartment with a vampire but she felt safe and, for the first time ever, like someone really wanted her around. It had been a moment of weakness, on both their parts, but she didn't regret it. He had been gentle and soft and...

Her memories were cut short by a warm gushing sensation. Looking down, she saw the wetness that darkened the fabric between her thighs and she realised what was happening. All fuzzy happy thoughts left her head, replaced with an extreme urge to jam a stake somewhere pretty useless when trying to dust a vamp.

Faith kicked the wet pants off and hesitantly slid a hand to the place between her legs, closing her eyes as she dipped two fingers slowly in to feel. The carefully probing fingers found nothing but her own yielding flesh so she removed them, hastily wiping the digits on her damp shirt and trying to focus on breathing and trying to keep her head about her.

Faith groaned loudly when the next pain seized her body but she worked with it and pushed to start the baby she hadn't even known about on its way into the world. The pain subsided and Faith gasped for a breath, she hadn't even noticed she had been holding it 'maybe that's why they have breathing coaches.' She thought, leaning back against the wall again.

The next pain hit her like a Mac truck, she couldn't hold back the scream that ripped from her throat and she almost forgot to bear down.

Time continued to go on around her but for Faith it might as well have stood still, all there was was the pain and the waiting for pain. After what felt like days, but was only about an hour, Faith again moved her hand between her bloodied thighs and jerked it back almost instantly. It took a moment for her brain to process that what her hand had touched was the top of the baby's head as it slowly stretched its way down the birth canal and now was starting to push its way free.

The slayer moaned painfully but moved her hand back when she pushed again so the infant didn't hit its head on the cement floor. A few more pushes and several not so silent threats of violence against Angel later, she held the child's head in her palm.

'You're almost there, Faith, you're almost done.' Her mind repeated to try and calm her but calm stopped working when she looked down at the baby's face, the colour felt off to her and there was something purplish around its neck. It only took a moment to realise it was the cord and even less time to realise her baby was in trouble. Faith tried to loosen the slick rope and untangle the baby but it was no use. "Help! Oh God please somebody help!" she screamed but again her cries went unanswered.

The Slayer sobbed again and turned her face to the ceiling 'Please! Please don't punish it because I'm evil! Please!' She pleaded mentally to any higher power who might take pity on her.

Unable to fight her body's instincts any longer, she again started to push. She could feel the baby's shoulders slowly tear through, then the rest sort of fell into a fluid motion and two or three pushes later the baby girl slid free onto the soiled blankets. Without pause, Faith darted forward, ignoring her body's protest, and unravelled the cord from the little girl's neck but she could tell by the dark purple shade of the infant's face that it was too late.

Several hours later when the guard brought breakfast around, he opened the cell to find her still in the corner, blood smeared and holding the dead child. She looked up brokenly "I called... But you didn't come..." she murmured, her voice rasped from crying out.

A few days later Faith sat down to talk to her 'lawyer' and instructed him to talk to the guard before he left because they had something of his.

Just before the vampire went to hang up she stopped him "Hey, Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever need help... Don't even think my name..." Faith returned the receiver to its cradle and let the guard lead her back to her hole, not once looking back at the vampire on the other side.


End file.
